is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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