careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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