so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His hands were made for my vagina.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
