You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
