kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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