His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
