I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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