Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
