I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize