she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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