yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
