we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
