you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
