2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
