i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
third nipple confirmed
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
