Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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