if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
