THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
