Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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