I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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