ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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