I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
