if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
zippers are such a cool invention
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
