I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
