hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
