I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
