Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.

Fav 7 2052 903
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?

(502): View more from Kentucky

Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?

Fav 11 1973 939
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(310): View more from California

I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work

Fav 21 913 3175
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(905): View more from Toronto

I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater

Fav 19 1197 3520
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(858): View more from California

Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.

Fav 10 3773 1702
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(314): View more from Missouri

Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.

Fav 10 4331 1077
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(312): View more from Illinois

I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up

Fav 2 1659 1359
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(703): View more from Virginia

My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud

Fav 4 1189 518
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(404): View more from Georgia

You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?

Fav 0 29 50
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