I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
