I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
