Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
