I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
