the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
