Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
