Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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