if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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