She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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