Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My bed is full of blood and feathers
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize