Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
