If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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