: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
