I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
