I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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