If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
