biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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