im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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