i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
God I need to hump something, right now.
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