I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
