He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
