One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
foreskin is a definite game changer
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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