new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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