so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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