remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
