If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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