How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
