You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize