Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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