omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
