so explain again why im purple
no
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
