discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
