He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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