We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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