Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
